The Insanity of it All
by Dust in the Wind
Summary: Two stowaways tagalong with the Fellowship and insanity is released upon the fair realm of the Golden Woods. Takes place after Moria.
1. Hey, Give Me a Hand with

Disclaimer: The characters and the places there of belong to Tolkien. No profit is being made. Nightshade and Alexa are original though.

Rating: PG

Character's: Haldir, Legolas, Alexa(oc), and Nightshade(oc).

Cameo Character's: Rúmil and Orophin. Gimli as well.

Author's Note: Please note that these short stories have nothing to do with my other story I'm a What. Feedback of any kind is much appreciated.

Hey, Give Me a Hand with this Braid.

It had been a trying day for all of them a great friend had been lost. Eight of the original nine plus two 'stow-a-ways' trudged along crestfallen. Their final destination: The Golden Woods, where the Lady of Light dwells.

All was silent, they had been walking for what seemed like hours until Alexa and Nightshade spoke up.

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No"

"Are we there yet?"

"For heaven sakes Nightshade do not start that."

"Are we there yet?"

"Nightshade I'm warning you!"

"Are…"

Alexa's right eye twitches.

"Don't. Even. Think. About. It."

"…we there yet?"

Alexa threw her head back in annoyance. She then smacked her forehead with her left hand.

"I can't take this anymore! Every time we're on our way to a specific location that is all you continue ask. Non stop. Every freaking minute. It's enough to drive even the most sensible and level headed elf to the brink of insanity." Alexa's hands flailed about as she ranted. Then she paused and looked glaringly at Nightshade. Nightshade opened her mouth.

"…."

"Don't you dare! Don't you even start that sentence. DON'T."

"Are we there yet?"

Alexa gave a great shriek in total annoyance.

"That's it I'm going up front. This is absurd. Namáriё."

Several hours later and over fifty-thousand are-we-there-yets, the Company finally reached the Golden Woods. They then continued on crossing the Nimrodel. Everyone sat down to rest and the song of Legolas eased them a bit. Well, that is until he finished and the discussion was started about where it was best to sleep. It was at this time he had chosen to climb a tree to sleep in.

Alexa and Nightshade watched from the sidelines as this occurred. Legolas had but barely touched the lowest brought when a commanding voice bellowed "Daro". The law of gravity did its job as Legolas dropped back to earth in surprise and fear. He shrank against the bole of the tree. Nightshade tried desperately not to laugh but failed horribly.

"Stand still!" He whispered to the others. "Do not move or speak!"

This only caused Nightshade to laugh harder, tears started to rundown her cheeks. Alexa nudged her in the ribs with her elbow.

"Owww. What was that for?"

"Stop being stupid."

"I'm not the one begin stupid…He is."

Nightshade pointed towards Legolas. Alexa rolled her eyes, then whispered to Nightshade.

"We're not alone."

"What? What are you talking about 'we're not alone' of course we're alone."

Alexa grasped Nightshade's chin in her left and turned her face towards the tree's higher branches. Laughter comes from within them. Nightshade's eyes widen.

"Oh."

"Yes. Oh."

They watched as Legolas, Frodo, and Sam ascended a rope attacked to the tree, then diapered from sight in the tree's branches.

"Ah man! Alexa! This is going to take forever!"

"Hey it's your fault you're here in the first place. You should have stayed in Rivendell."

"My fault! Correct me if I'm wrong, but you were supposed to stay there as well."

"I had my reason, I have a responsibility!"

"To who? That old man?"

Alexa looked at Nightshade in shock, her lower lip quivered and her eyes teared. She glared at Nightshade. Her voice lowered and wavered slightly.

"Yes to that 'old man'."

She walked away into the woods. Nightshade looked around her the fellowship that was waiting they were staring at her, their eyes boring into her. A look of great regret covered Nightshade's face, she made to fallow Alexa. Something stopped her. A gloved hand rested on her elbow, she fallowed that hand down to a face with a long beard and mustache the color of rust. Bushy eyebrows came out from under his helmet. It was Gimli.

"Let her be lass, let her be."

His voice was oddly gentle and soft, yet still gruff in a way only Gimli can. She nodded her head and looked down at the ground.

"I can't believe I'm doing this for you. I should have known you wanted something from me when you came and apologized to me. I could tell you where up to no good, you had mischief written all over your face. I should have said no, but no I had to have said yes. You're always so good with words. It's no fair!"

"Quiet you'll wake them! Then we're doomed"

"We're doomed anyway. What does it matter? They'll wake up at dawn and we're dead. It was nice knowing you. See you on the other side, because that's were we will wake up. Mandos here we come."

"Hey, can you give me a hand with this braid? I'm having a bit of trouble with it."

"Hold on."

"Besides Alexa, I thought you told me that you wanted to further your relationship with Haldir. Or did I assume wrong."

"I said further our relationship, not bring closure to what little chance was there, if any."

Alexa crawled carefully around the hobbits and came to Nightshade's right-hand side. She then looked down at Legolas' sleeping form, specifically his hair. It was only half way done. Nightshade had done an odd circular and zigzag design, that once finished would end up as a pony tail on his right side. Nightshade did not stop there though woven randomly in those braids where brightly colored wild flowers. Alexa nearly died.

"Nightshade, he's going to kill you."

"Just help me with this braid will you?"

"NO. You're on your own. That's fire you be playing with. You're getting burned by yourself this time. You need to learn when to much is too much, and that" She points at the flowers. "Is too much."

"But it's such pretty hair. So smooth and soft, and it sparkles. How do they do it?"

Nightshade picks up some loose locks and starts to play with them. Once she finishes playing with the gold tresses she continues to braid.

"I can't believe they're still a sleep. They're like rocks. Nothing can wake them I thought elves where light sleepers"

"Me too, but apparently not."

Alexa go to return to Haldir's hair when there was a noise the girls tensed, then looked at each other. Alexa raised an eyebrow.

"Was that a snore?"

"I think so."

The noise occurred again but this time louder and a bit longer.

"It must be Gimli, Alexa you heard him in Moria."

"It can't be, he's on the other talen. This sounds close. It's coming from over there."

They left Legolas' hair to fallow the sound to its source. Nightshade starts to giggle, and Alexa gasps in surprise. She kneels down near Haldir's head and gently grips some loose tresses to stroke. She looks from Haldir to Nightshade, then smiles in laughter giggling as well.

"He snores."

"I didn't know elves snored."

"Me neither, but obviously they do."

There was a slight rustle behind them and their posture stiffened. Slowly the two girls turned in that direction then looked up. There stood Haldir's two younger brothers watching them with a look that said they have been caught and their hands where definitely in the cookie jar.

"Oh no Nightshade this is it, we're dead. It has been nice knowing you, you where a good friend to me I owe you much. Oh what a cruel, cruel world!"

Alexa continued to mumble words of regretful woe. Nightshade smacked her lightly on the face

"Snap out of it and pull yourself together Alexa all is not lost. Our mission stands on the edge of a knife if we stray but a little…. Then we're dead."

"Thanks Nightshade that helped a bit."

"No problem."

"Don't do it again… EVER again"

"Ever?"

Alexa's right eye started to twitch but before it did they were interrupted again by an exaggerated cough. They turned their head in that direction.

"Pardon our intrusion but…"

"This is it we're dead."

Alexa closed her eyes tightly and grasped her red pointy hat covering her mouth and nose.

"Do you need help."

Her eyes opened.

"What? Are you crazy are nuts? Nightshade, tell them they can't help. They're the ones that are supposed to wake them up so that all hell brakes loose."

Nightshade looked from Alexa to the elves.

"Got any hair ties?"

Rumil and Orophin looked from Nightshade to each other then grinned as they pulled many thin strips of leather from their tunic pockets.

The sun rose high in the sky waking from a long slumber. All was quiet in the Golden Woods, um… that is until….

"NIGHTSHADE!"

"RUMIL! OROPHIN!"

Three sets of light footsteps could be heard and two soon followed them. Alexa woke up with great confusion.

"What? Wha… What's going on?"

Disclaimer: The characters and the places there of belong to Tolkien. No profit is being made. Nightshade and Alexa are original though.

Rating: PG

Character's: Haldir, Legolas, Alexa(oc), and Nightshade(oc).

Cameo Character's: Rúmil and Orophin. Gimli as well.

Author's Note: Feedback of any kind is much appreciated.

Hey, Give Me a Hand with this Braid.

It had been a trying day for all of them a great friend had been lost. Eight of the original nine plus two 'stow-a-ways' trudged along crestfallen. Their final destination: The Golden Woods, where the Lady of Light dwells.

All was silent, they had been walking for what seemed like hours until Alexa and Nightshade spoke up.

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No"

"Are we there yet?"

"For heaven sakes Nightshade do not start that."

"Are we there yet?"

"Nightshade I'm warning you!"

"Are…"

Alexa's right eye twitches.

"Don't. Even. Think. About. It."

"…we there yet?"

Alexa threw her head back in annoyance. She then smacked her forehead with her left hand.

"I can't take this anymore! Every time we're on our way to a specific location that is all you continue ask. Non stop. Every freaking minute. It's enough to drive even the most sensible and level headed elf to the brink of insanity." Alexa's hands flailed about as she ranted. Then she paused and looked glaringly at Nightshade. Nightshade opened her mouth.

"…."

"Don't you dare! Don't you even start that sentence. DON'T."

"Are we there yet?"

Alexa gave a great shriek in total annoyance.

"That's it I'm going up front. This is absurd. Namáriё."

Several hours later and over fifty-thousand are-we-there-yets, the Company finally reached the Golden Woods. They then continued on crossing the Nimrodel. Everyone sat down to rest and the song of Legolas eased them a bit. Well, that is until he finished and the discussion was started about where it was best to sleep. It was at this time he had chosen to climb a tree to sleep in.

Alexa and Nightshade watched from the sidelines as this occurred. Legolas had but barely touched the lowest brought when a commanding voice bellowed "Daro". The law of gravity did its job as Legolas dropped back to earth in surprise and fear. He shrank against the bole of the tree. Nightshade tried desperately not to laugh but failed horribly.

"Stand still!" He whispered to the others. "Do not move or speak!"

This only caused Nightshade to laugh harder, tears started to rundown her cheeks. Alexa nudged her in the ribs with her elbow.

"Owww. What was that for?"

"Stop being stupid."

"I'm not the one begin stupid…He is."

Nightshade pointed towards Legolas. Alexa rolled her eyes, then whispered to Nightshade.

"We're not alone."

"What? What are you talking about 'we're not alone' of course we're alone."

Alexa grasped Nightshade's chin in her left and turned her face towards the tree's higher branches. Laughter comes from within them. Nightshade's eyes widen.

"Oh."

"Yes. Oh."

They watched as Legolas, Frodo, and Sam ascended a rope attached to the tree, then disappeared from sight in the tree's branches.

"Ah man! Alexa! This is going to take forever!"

"Hey it's your fault you're here in the first place. You should have stayed in Rivendell."

"My fault! Correct me if I'm wrong, but you were supposed to stay there as well."

"I had my reason, I have a responsibility!"

"To who? That old man?"

Alexa looked at Nightshade in shock, her lower lip quivered and her eyes teared. She glared at Nightshade. Her voice lowered and wavered slightly.

"Yes to that 'old man'."

She walked away into the woods. Nightshade looked around her the fellowship that was waiting they were staring at her, their eyes boring into her. A look of great regret covered Nightshade's face, and she made to fallow Alexa. Something stopped her. A gloved hand rested on her elbow, she followed that hand down to a face with a long beard and mustache the color of rust. Bushy eyebrows came out from under his helmet. It was Gimli.

"Let her be lass, let her be."

His voice was oddly gentle and soft, yet still gruff in a way only Gimli can. She nodded her head and looked down at the ground.

"I can't believe I'm doing this for you. I should have known you wanted something from me when you came and apologized to me. I could tell you where up to no good, you had mischief written all over your face. I should have said no, but no I had to have said yes. You're always so good with words. It's not fair!"

"Quiet you'll wake them! Then we're doomed"

"We're doomed anyway. What does it matter? They'll wake up at dawn and we're dead. It was nice knowing you. See you on the other side, because that's where we will wake up. Mandos here we come."

"Hey, can you give me a hand with this braid? I'm having a bit of trouble with it."

"Hold on."

"Besides Alexa, I thought you told me that you wanted to further your relationship with Haldir. Or did I assume wrong."

"I said further our relationship, not bring closure to what little chance was there, if any."

Alexa crawled carefully around the hobbits and came to Nightshade's right-hand side. She then looked down at Legolas' sleeping form, specifically his hair. It was only half way done. Nightshade had done an odd circular and zigzag design, that once finished would end up as a pony tail on his right side. Nightshade did not stop there though woven randomly in those braids where brightly colored wild flowers. Alexa nearly died.

"Nightshade, he's going to kill you."

"Just help me with this braid will you?"

"NO. You're on your own. That's fire you be playing with. You're getting burned by yourself this time. You need to learn when too much is too much, and that" She points at the flowers. "Is too much."

"But it's such pretty hair. So smooth and soft, and it sparkles. How do they do it?"

Nightshade picks up some loose locks and starts to play with them. Once she finishes playing with the gold tresses she continues to braid.

"I can't believe they're still a sleep. They're like rocks. Nothing can wake them I thought elves where light sleepers"

"Me too, but apparently not."

Alexa was going to return to Haldir's hair when there was a noise the girls tensed, then looked at each other. Alexa raised an eyebrow.

"Was that a snore?"

"I think so."

The noise occurred again but this time louder and a bit longer.

"It must be Gimli, Alexa you heard him in Moria."

"It can't be, he's on the other talen. This sounds close. It's coming from over there."

They left Legolas' hair to fallow the sound to its source. Nightshade starts to giggle, and Alexa gasps in surprise. She kneels down near Haldir's head and gently grips some loose tresses to stroke. She looks from Haldir to Nightshade, and then smiles in laughter giggling as well.

"He snores."

"I didn't know elves snored."

"Me neither, but obviously they do."

There was a slight rustle behind them and their posture stiffened. Slowly the two girls turned in that direction then looked up. There stood Haldir's two younger brothers watching them with a look that said they have been caught and their hands were definitely in the cookie jar.

"Oh no Nightshade this is it, we're dead. It has been nice knowing you, you where a good friend to me I owe you much. Oh what a cruel, cruel world!"

Alexa continued to mumble words of regretful woe. Nightshade smacked her lightly on the face

"Snap out of it and pull yourself together Alexa all is not lost. Our mission stands on the edge of a knife if we stray but a little…. Then we're dead."

"Thanks Nightshade that helped a bit."

"No problem."

"Don't do it again… EVER again"

"Ever?"

Alexa's right eye started to twitch but before it did they were interrupted again by an exaggerated cough. They turned their head in that direction.

"Pardon our intrusion but…"

"This is it we're dead."

Alexa closed her eyes tightly and grasped her red pointy hat covering her mouth and nose.

"Do you need help."

Her eyes opened.

"What? Are you crazy are nuts? Nightshade, tell them they can't help. They're the ones that are supposed to wake them up so that all hell brakes loose."

Nightshade looked from Alexa to the elves.

"Got any hair ties?"

Rumil and Orophin looked from Nightshade to each other then grinned as they pulled many thin strips of leather from their tunic pockets.

The sun rose high in the sky waking from a long slumber. All was quiet in the Golden Woods, um… that is until….

"NIGHTSHADE!"

RUMIL! OROPHIN!

Three sets of light footsteps could be heard and two soon followed them. Alexa woke up with great confusion.

"What? Wha… What's going on? Where did everyone go?"


	2. Easy as falling

Disclaimer: The characters and the places there of belong to Tolkien. No profit is being made. Nightshade and Alexa are original though.

Rating: PG

Character's: Alexa (oc), and Nightshade (oc).

Cameo Character's: Haldir, Legolas, Rúmil, and Orophin.

Easy as Falling

The sun rose high in the sky over the fair elvish city of Lothlórien as if waking from a long slumber. All was quiet in the Golden Woods and it is at this time two figures could be found on a flet built on and around the lower branches, Nightshade and Alexa where deep in conversation.

"This is what you do: You hide in the bushes and wait until he's in sight than you leave your hiding spot and start to walk towards him. Once you're close enough to him you just happen to trip over a tree root and he just happens to catch you. It's as easy as falling!" Nightshade used her hands as she talked and explained her idea to Alexa.

"What? Yeah maybe for you, you fall naturally. Clumsiness is apart of you; tree roots attack you all the time. You have no choice but to trip. Besides he'd see right through it, he might be blonde but he's not stupid." Alexa stood up from where she was sitting near the edge.

"Do you want to make the first move here or don't you?"

"Yes but I'm not going to throwing myself at him. That's totally sleazy, and unromantic. You got to plan these things out; it takes time and careful thought. You can't force love. Everything has to be perfect and the timing has to be right." Alexa twiddled her thumbs and started to pace back and forth in the middle of the talen. Nightshade pulled her feet to her body so that she could rest her arms on her knees; she then leaned her head back against the tree's trunk and closed her eyes.

"To bad the twins aren't here, they'd know what to do."

"NO! No, no, no, no! Thank you but no! Anything but them, last time they tried to 'help' it was a disaster. I had to hide form Elrond and Gandalf for nearly a month. It was horrible. They're still number one and two on my list and that's not good for them. So NO!"

Alexa continued to babble; Nightshade looked at her then rolled her eyes up to the sky and stared at it for a while.

"You had them apologizing for weeks." Nightshade finished talking and looked back at her friend her eyes widened and her jaw dropped open. She stood up slowly. "Alexa

What ever you do don't take a step back."

"Why not?"

Alexa looked at her skeptically, and then took another step back. Her foot met empty air and she struggled to keep her balance. Her arms flailed wildly.

"Alexa! No!"

Nightshade lunged forward but was too late. By the time she made it to the ledge Alex had plummeted over the side and out of sight.

"Alex! Alex where are you? Are you alright, I don't see you! Please say something, where are you? Alexa!"

"Look down"

Nightshade looked to the left and the right then finally down over the platform. There was Alexa holding on a branch with both hands looking up at her, a much larger branch came out in front of her a few feet above her head.

"Alexa! You're alive. Don't move I'll be right down. How did you get there any way that's like the oddest spot ever?"

"This is all your fault! Now hurry I don't like heights."

"My fault? How is this my fault? I told you not to take a step back."

"Everyone knows when you tell some one 'don't do this' they're going to do it anyway. It's inevitable."

"Well I didn't know!"

"Whatever just please hurry up my hands are slipping."

"I'm coming, don't go anywhere"

"Don't worry I won't".

Nightshade made her way down towards her friend carefully. She reached over the hanging branch just above Alexa's head, then slowly went to straddle it with both legs. Once she was straddling the branch she then crawled on her belly further out onto the branch so that she was right over Alexa on the lower branch. Nightshade looked to the branch below. Alexa looked up at her,

"Alex give me your hand."

They reached out towards each other, but there was an inch still between them.

"Just a little further…. Almost there. Stretch, keep stretching that's the key, keep stretching."

Their hands inched together little by little until they clutched each other.

"There we go now let go of the branch."

"What! NO!"

"Just do it!"

Alexa let go of the branch Nightshade jerked forward from the extra weight. Alexa dangled back and forth she was not happy, she glared at Nightshade.

"Now what stupid?"

"I um… pull you up."

"Pull me up! How are you going to do that! You could barely pull yourself up."

Alexa continued on talking loudly to herself and her friend. Nightshade simply rolled her eyes the looked down and then up the path. There was a distant murmur from down below. Someone was coming.

"Alex SHHHH! Do you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"I thought I heard something, it sounded like voices."

"So lots of people talk it could be anybody. Now pull me up."

"Alex the sun is barely up yet no wakes up that early unless they're going to the fields to practice."

"Nightshade!"

"Quiet they're getting closer"

They both looked down the path four figures where walking down it, quivers and bows strapped on their back and a sword at their waist. As they continued to come closer Nightshade was able to make out who they were and an idea came to her mind.

"They're getting closer."

"Who cares now get me up!"

"Just hold on."

"Nightshade! NO! My hands are slipping!"

"Just a bit longer… Steady now steady."

Alexa looked down, by now the four figures where in plain sight and she could tell who it was that was walking in front of the other three. In another few moments he'd be right below her. Her eyes widened and she looked back up at Nightshade.

"**Don't you dare!"**

Alexa tried to grasp Nightshade's hand with her other hand but to no avail. Just as the figure took his next step their hands slipped apart and Alexa started falling toward the ground. She shrieked loudly and tightly closed her eyes as she waited for her body to impact with the ground, but it never happened. A pair of strong muscular arms had caught her and held her secularly, holding her up with an arm supporting her back and under her knees. She wrapped her arms around the persons neck and held herself tightly to him resting her head at the nape of his neck she hid her face.

"Is it over?"

"Yes."

"Am I alive?"

"Yes."

She loosened her grip around his neck. Haldir set her down on her feet in front of him, his arms wrapped around her for support. Alexa's arms rested on his chest. They gazed into each other's eyes.

"Thank you"

"You're welcome."

It then seemed to Alexa that his face was getting closer and closer, which he was, they were just about to kiss when…

"Told you so. Told you so. Told you, told you, told you so. Told you…."

The sound of singing came from above. Alexa's eye twitched as all thoughts of being kissed were washed away and she looked up and growled. She looked back at Haldir and raised her index finger at him.

"Excuse me, just… Just one second I have to go and kill someone. Just… Hold that thought. I'll be right back."

Alexa turned and ran to the nearest set of stairs.

"NIGHTSHADE!"

Footsteps were heard from above as Nightshade made her exit.

"Yeah you better run cause once I get a hold of you, you're so dead!"

The guys watched as Alexa ran up the steps and out of sight but not out of hearing. They turned to each other in silence and blinked their eyes. The silenced past and they continued on their way to the practice field.


End file.
